ONE THING

I admit it. I can be morbid sometimes. When the flight attendant says, “In case of an emergency you are to leave all items behind”, I start worrying. “What about my medications? What about people who have diabetes or some other disease that require prompt medical attention at all times?” Then, I start to think rationally and realize that these things can be replaced.
When my brain goes to that dark morbid place, it reinforced for me how things become so precious to us. They kindle memories, give us comfort, and make us feel less lonely. If, heaven forbid, something like this ever happened to my home, what thing would be the most important to me? I am aggressive about getting rid of my old things, but I too save some memorabilia. I have a special box with things like old letters from my Mom, photographs, and small trinkets from childhood. I look upon these items at least three times a year and am filled with a warm glow inside. So, what are the things I would risk my life for in a moment of disaster? When I think about it honestly, my memories are what I hold most sacred as a “thing”--no object can compare. When the time came to evacuate to save yourself and
your loved ones; you would grab your family and make a run for it. You wouldn’t say, “Oh, my wedding photographs, I have to got get them!” The bottom line is when the time came to rescue yourself and family you would choose your life over your things. So why then is it so hard for us on a day to day basis to let go of things? We are a sentimental race that hangs onto our child’s first clipped hair, the love letter from a first love or an empty bottle we discovered on the beach. Why are we collectors of things? Are we so materialistic that we need stuff to feel fulfilled? I think not. I think some things are a comfort and are needed. True, not when disasters occur, but when we are feeling melancholy and need a bit of reassurance through a memory. Is it that wrong to hold onto things? This is a hard question. I don’t believe so, and I don’t want people to feel bad for wanting to. But it is terribly important to keep perspective. Ultimately, the things are just a support for what matters—they are not what matter themselves. So how do you know if you’re going overboard? When do things begin to take on a life of their own? When have you crossed the line from keeping cherished memories to drowning in your possessions? Here are some warning signs that you may be going overboard with regard to your material objects:
• You don’t take the time to look at some your things purely for the sake of enjoying them—you only see them when they get in the way
• You are tripping over collections of things that cover every space of your home
• Buying things makes you feel better, but you find after a day or two the good feeling is gone and you need to buy another thing
• You buy things with a purpose in mind, like a project, but when the purpose is gone the things stay behind
• You buy things on sale that you wouldn’t have bought otherwise
• You have a collection that you constantly increase, without regards to budget, space, or size
• You have multiple items that do the same thing, and you only use one of them
• Your things make you feel comfortable and enclosed like a safety guard against the outside world, so much that to remove anything would remove the border between you and the world

In the most extreme case, people will feel like they can’t let go of anything they own. They may have years of magazine back-issues, bills from decades before, or piles of things they haven’t seen the bottom of for years. These extreme cases really need the help of a professional— usually a professional organizer like myself, sometimes in partnership with a great therapist. If any of this sounds familiar, check out one of these websites where you can learn more about “hoarding”.